There’s a lot to be said for being single; some good, some bad, but being single during the holidays is whole other kettle of Gefilte fish. Oye! No matter the religious point of view, the holidays bring out both the best and the worst in people, making being single one of the toughest things to deal with at this so-called cheerful time. Here is a list of the pros and cons of being a loner during the holidays.
Pro: You don’t have to spend a lot of money buying a special someone presents.
Con: No special someone is buying you a present. What? Wait a minute! That wasn’t in the contract!
Pro: You can date anyone you want and kiss that cute hottie that’s standing under the mistletoe.
Con: There isn’t anyone left to date during the holidays except those bottom-feeding losers you’d never give the time of day to anyway! And the guy under the mistletoe? His girlfriend just beat you to those luscious lips by ten seconds! Whore!
Pro: There’s lots of cheerful holiday music on the radio.
Con: There’s too darn much cheerful holiday music on the radio! Good grief! Is the FCC channeling Jim Jones and trying to get everyone to drink the “White Christmas” koolaide? Someone pass me the Prozac Fruitcake, please.
Pro: You can stay out late toasting all the good tidings of comfort and joy with your friends!
Con: Those good tidings will turn into Tidy Bowel tidings as you puke your single guts up in the morning with no one there to hold your hair out of your face for you. Ah, the porcelain is so nice and cool…
Pro: You don’t have to cook a big dinner for the family (nor clean up a huge mess)!
Con: You don’t have any leftovers the next day and you really want some pie. Meh!
Pro: You don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn to open presents with the family.
Con: You wake up alone, wishing you had a family to get up at the crack of dawn with to open presents!
Pro: You have at least five parties to attend between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
Con: Uh…there’s no con here. You have at least five parties to hit wearing your finest, sexiest party wear and can flirt your happy-arse off shamelessly with every single cutie there! After all, you’re single!
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